


things that we hide from view

by Jules1398



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Bisexuality, Dare, First Kiss, M/M, Trans Jonas Augustin, Trans Male Character, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 18:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15891948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jules1398/pseuds/Jules1398
Summary: Kissing Matteo was a terrible idea, but Jonas wasn't sure how he could turn down Hanna's dare.





	things that we hide from view

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a short oneshot based on the part of the script Julie posted on her insta last night (it was night for me. in fact very late at night and i was freaking out) bc you know I'm a jotteo fan first and a person second. also jonas is trans bc uhhhh i say so!  
> also druck come back challenge.  
> [come say hi!](http://jonasmatteo.tumblr.com/)

“I dare you to kiss Matteo,” Hanna exclaimed before collapsing back onto the grass in a fit of drunken giggles. God, she was so wasted. Playing truth or dare had been an awful idea.

“Isn’t that a bit extreme?” Jonas asked, trying to mask his nerves. “Like, it’s supposed to just be a dare for me, but this is kind of a dare for Matteo too. He might not want to kiss me. I mean, I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t.”

In reality, he just wasn’t completely comfortable kissing his best friend. Ever since Hanna asked if he was gay, the thought of it had been chipping away at his brain. He knew he liked women, but what if his attraction wasn’t limited to them? He thought that he would have figured that out sooner, what with being transgender, but he supposed that his sexuality was a different thing in itself that he needed time to determine.

“I’m fine with it,” Matteo said, picking at the sleeve of his jacket. It seemed like he was nervous as well, probably because most guys didn’t go around kissing their best friends.

Hanna was too drunk to see how nervous he was. They really should have tried to cut her off sooner, but she was having fun so they had let it go.

“See!” she all but shouted. “Matteo is fine with it. Take the dare! Unless you’re a chicken, in which case you are obliged to do the chicken task and jump in the lake.”

“I’m  _ not  _ a chicken,” he protested. “It just seems kind of extreme for a fun game of truth or dare.”

“It’s not extreme,” she argued. “It’s just a kiss. If Matteo dared you to kiss me, you wouldn’t hesitate even though I’m your ex. Same gender kissing is no different!”

“He’s my best friend,” Jonas said as if that would get the very determined Hanna Jung to back off.

“Mia is my best friend and she kissed me at the Heldenparty,” Hanna pointed out. “And, she’s like totally not straight. Like, she likes girls and guys and shit. We are still best friends. And don’t say it’s because we’re girls. You’re all about defying gender norms.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Because I’m trans?”

Hanna shook her head. “Because you’ve literally said that word for word. You’re like the biggest feminist I know next to Mia and you’re a guy.”

Jonas groaned. She was right. If girls could be affectionate with each other, then guys could do the same.

“Are you sure you are okay with this?” he asked Matteo in a soft voice. He didn’t want to force him to do anything that he didn’t want to do.

Matteo hesitated for a moment but nodded, his blue eyes shining in the moonlight. “What about you?” he asked. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I am.”

The other boy gave a slow nod.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he informed Matteo but didn’t move a muscle.

Matteo let out a small laugh. ”Ok.”

He shut his blue eyes tightly and Jonas saw his chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath.

Jonas laughed nervously. “Are you closing your eyes?”

The other boy’s blue eyes shot open and Jonas saw fear within them. This was a terrible idea. He was going to fucking murder Hanna. It was too late now, though. Unless Matteo called it off.

“No,” Matteo muttered. “Or, I don’t fucking know. Are you?”

He let out another nervous laugh. “Yeah. No. I don’t know. Let’s just do it.”

How was it that kissing girls felt like second nature but one stupid kiss with his best friend was the most intimidating thing in the world?

Jonas took a deep breath and began to count aloud. “One, two, three.”

He licked his lips and started to lean in, but Matteo burst out laughing. This was a stupid idea. Matteo didn’t fucking want to kiss him. He didn’t know how or what, but he had done something wrong.

He laughed along with his best friend. “What is it now, man?”

“Sorry,” Matteo said between his giggles. Maybe he should have cut him off as well, though he hadn’t seemed all that drunk. “You just. Sorry. Let’s start over.”

If Matteo truly didn’t want to kiss him, he wouldn’t have told him to start over, so this time Jonas had to really go for it.

He took another deep breath.

“One,” he began, looking at Matteo’s soft hair, which he had run his fingers through countless times and had never really gotten sick of.

“Two,” he continued, gaze flickering down to his friend’s eyes, as blue as the sky on the sunniest day of the summer, though most of that blue was being swallowed by his pitch black pupils, which were blown wider than Jonas had ever seen them before.

“Three,” Jonas finished, finally daring to look down at Matteo’s lips. They looked like they would be soft. His mouth was slightly parted in preparation for Jonas’ kiss.

At once, they leaned toward each other. Their lips met in the middle and Jonas’ eyes fluttered closed. Matteo’s lips were slightly softer than he imagined. Jonas wished he could deepen the kiss and explore more of his friend’s mouth, but there was no way that was something that Matteo would want.

They sat there with their lips pressed together for at least half a minute, each basking in the other’s presence. Kissing Matteo was nice, but Jonas would probably never get to do it again. He had to cherish every second of their kiss.

Eventually, they parted, though Jonas wasn’t exactly sure who pulled away first. He searched Matteo’s eyes for any trace of disgust or anger but found none, so he settled on waiting for the other boy to burst into laughter.

He never did.

Jonas was more confused than ever. He had thought he was straight, but he had enjoyed that kiss far too much for it to just have been a joke between friends. 

Was he gay?

No. His love for Hanna had been truer than anything he felt before but now he was suddenly aware that what he had chalked up to being a bromance with Matteo didn’t really feel all that different from his old feelings toward Hanna.

Maybe he was bi. Maybe that was it.

Matteo said something and Jonas was shaken from his thoughts.

“Huh?” he asked.

The other boy nodded to his left. “I said that she’s asleep.”

Jonas turned and, sure enough, Hanna was fast asleep, a smug smile plastered on her face. Had she planned this all along or was it just a product of her being too drunk to function?

“I suppose we should carry her into the cabin so she doesn’t wake up with neck cramps,” Jonas said, not daring to look back into Matteo’s eyes.

“Yeah,” he said. “I suppose.”

Wordlessly, the two of them hauled Hanna into the cabin and laid her on the couch before walking off toward their respective rooms.

When Jonas was alone he flopped dramatically onto his bed and groaned. Did he have feelings for his best friend? And Matteo didn’t seem all that disgusted by the kiss either.

A stupid idea made its way into Jonas’ brain: maybe, one day, he and Matteo could actually be together.

For today, though, that wouldn’t happen so Jonas settled on attempting to go to sleep as he finally let that idea blossom in his mind.


End file.
